Jibber Jabber

Well here we go again, try #5. I have started four different blogs before this one. For some reason none of them have sat well with me, and I haven't been able to shake the feeling of writing about my time with God a few days ago. After all, you guys want to hear about our ministry, what the labour is like. How bar ministry is going. Buut I just couldn't write about it this time. During our team time a few days ago we took sometime to sit with God and just listen. After awhile of sitting there I started writing God a letter, but turns out He wanted to write to me. So bear with me, I'll try and break it down for you along the way. It starts out similar to a prayer. 

God I want your presence to be my deepest delight. But you already know that, thank you for answering it or starting the process anyways before I even could say anything. Your are so good!! Your love for me amazes me Thank you for caring for me and our relationship. Thank you for taking me deeper. Thank you for speaking even when I don't listen or I doubt. Oohhh my doubt, I am so ashamed of it but yet I'm not because your grace covers it, and you knew I was going to doubt yet you still persued me and spoke. When you look at me you don't see doubt, you don't see failure, you don't see a deaf ear, you don't see my selfishness. No! You see your son's righteousness, you see Jesus and the Holy Spirit at work in me. When you look at me you see truth – someone who believes, you see success – a beautiful workmanship that your forming, You see a listening child – sensitivity to your voice, You see selflessness – a giving of what you gave for me and its not finished; it won't be, this is all ever growing. I need not rush it.

Life is growth and learning, a constant deepening with you and discovering more of who you are and if I'm not there now I will be one day. God is good! His grace is all I need.  (this is where it starts to switch over from me talking to Him to Him talking to me) Trust, be still and trust Gloriel. God has you exactly where He wants you. He's growing you, molding you, pruning you, His strength is made perfect in weakness. 1) Don't be ashamed of weakness because that's where God is glorified. 2) Don't doubt Gods work or ability in and through you. The power that you want from and in Christ will come, be patient.

Just enjoy being in my presence – I enjoy yours so enjoy mine. Different seasons teach different things — these times are only for a short while, be patient. You do hear me gloriel, act on it. You know my voice – theres no reason to test it. Just trust and do no matter how wierd. Trust obey and being still, thats all you need this season. Your crazy loudness will come back, but for these months you don't need it so you can focus on me. You see I've already filled all your normal roles so you have no particular rule to fill. All you have to do is focus on me and take time to sit in my presence, don't worry about your mind either, I'll control it. I already do, just be peaceful in me. Enjoy this season of rest and filling up of you. Enjoy the constant prayer, this is what I have for you. I want you to love me and love me speaking to you just for us. Once you do words will be given you for others. But for now, just relax and allow your spirit to be stirred.

You will see things. Your spirit is more sensitive then you know and its growing more and more sensitive. Don't be paranoid though, allow yourself to be still in my presence and trust that I've already won the battle. You will have peace. You will see things one day – dark things. But you must remember who I am! and the protection you have in me. When you walk into places of spiritual darkness remember I have set two angels before you and I have given my angels charge concerning you, they will protect you. Satan has no control over you or any part of you in the name of Jesus! No matter how heavy or dark it is you can rest peacefully in me and my presence the same if you were on a grassy hillside in pure daylight with a gentle breeze.

You will go into darkness but you musn't doubt! You must trust. I am increasing your faith. Rest in me. Believe me. Give your spirit over to me and trust that I have it. (Now I talk) I do God, I want to but in order to fully I need your help and I need you to do it. (I'm done, back to Him) Never forget my angels and the protection you have in me. The more time you spend just in my presence the more you'll trust it and the closer we'll get. The closer we get the more power I'll display through you weakness. I have a plan for you life and I will perform it, I promise. You won't be disappointed.

In fact the closer you get to me the better and better it will be; but you have to spend intentional time in my presence just dwelling on me & I on you. Just enjoy the peace, embrace it! (Me talking now) I didn't realize how much resistance I was giving that, I thought I was open. I'm sorry for all the time I've waisted with being closed off. (Back to Him) My grace Gloriel. (me again) Yes I know, it's behind me and forgiven. (back to Him) Dwell on the here and now. Look at the sweet fellowship. (me) mmmmm *sigh* your spirit. it's alive in me. (Him) You now  know what you need to do. Go out, believe, trust, be still and enjoy. I enjoy it too. I look forward to these times of being with you gloriel. You must fight for them. (me) Thank you God, I needed that. I will be more intentional but like in everything I need your help to not doubt, to deepen, to love, and to be still.

Well that about sums it up. I'm honestly not sure why I put this up here. I hope it makes some sense. God has been teaching me alot and I can't wait to see how this season of my life turns out. I've been yearning for growth and a deepening, and it looks like He's answering it. It all seems rather odd while it's still in the process but I'm sure all this will make sense one day. God's timing is perfect. He is soo good!!! I can't say it enough! "Bless the Lord oh my soul and all that is in me bless His holy name." Psalms (something:something) lol I'm to tired to look this up. It's waay late here.