It all started at training camp. Well, really before then. I have struggled with shame for nearly my entire life. There are times when my brain keeps me up at night going over every mistake I made that day, and then each mistake of my lifetime. That usually lands me in tears and wishing for someone to hold me, but I'm too ashamed to ask, so I cry alone. The thought of letting someone else in terrifies me; I think I'm too broken to allow anyone to get close. This shame has affected my self worth as well. The other day Taylor was talking to Lyndie and me, and she said that she loved us...

Psalm 37:4 “Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 40:8 “I desire to do your will, my God; your law is within my heart.”   I desired to be a full-time missionary living abroad. I went on the World Race. I desired to work with an international mission’s organization.I worked for Samaritan’s Purse. I desired to go to Thailand. I am in Thailand. I desired to lead and minister to missionaries. I am leading short-term missionaries.   These are a few examples of things in which have been desires in my heart that...

What do we believe about love?  The world teaches that love does not have to be consuming. It teaches that love that is just full of fun and passion; It does not change our hearts.  The world teaches that love is a rite of passage- something you had to find by age 16 to have the same maturity and experience as our peers. The world teaches that the certain kind of sadness that comes from not being loved in the right way was good thing, that it gives you an interesting story.  The world teaches that love is selfless to a fault. It teaches us that the more we are...

     Every day a small group of our team members travels to the red light district to prayer walk and talk to the people that we have started to form relationships with in the bars. We have some good relationships with a few of the workers at a lady boy bar that we visit almost every day. Last week we walked by and noticed that they were setting up new decorations, tinsel and streamers, all over the bar. Our leader, Kelli, questioned one of the workers about why new decorations were being put up. They said it was just for a change of scenery. They then asked, “It looks...

One thing that was really emphasized at training camp was that everyone needed to drop all expectations for their upcoming trip. I had absolutely no idea what to expect, therefore no expectations, right? Wrong. For the past three and a half weeks I have been trying to figure out why this trip is so different than I imagined when I wasn't even sure what to expect coming here.  When I originally heard the word "expectations" I was thinking more along the lines of living conditions, food, ministry,…ect. What I have recently come to realize however, is I did have...

I went out to the bar street expecting to do the same thing I do every night. Love the bar girls. But Satan had a different plan for me. He thought he had my night planned, but little did he know I wasn’t about to go down without a fight! It's a long story about how a demon possessed man stared into my soul with the intention to “put me in fetal position, in a black ditch too scared to get up,” but that isn't the part of the story I want to share with you. I want to share the part where Christ took over my thoughts even when I couldn’t formulate...