In the months leading up to this trip, I anticipated a lot of things:
- spicy food.
- being covered in sweat almost all of the time.
- being at least 10 inches taller than the average Thai person.
- spending tons of time in prayer and worship.
- becoming dependant on God alone.
- experiencing God in new ways.
- amazing friendships with my teammates.
All of these things have been true. Especially the latter few in this past week as we took a screen fast. No phones, computers, iPods, etc. It was so so good. I never imagined my relationship with the Lord could deepen so much in just one week.
One thing I did NOT anticipate about this trip or Thailand in general was the intense spiritual battle & the realness of the spiritual realm. The ememy has SUCH a stronghold in Thailand. Not just on Bangla road, but on this whole country. And though Thailand is called "the land of smiles" and people really do smile ALL the time, there is still SO much sadness and brokeness in their eyes.
As a team we have been experiencing spiritual attacks on a daily basis. For some, it's getting physically sick, getting a sharp pain, becoming irritated with things that don't normally irritate us, etc.
For me it's mostly attacks at night, when I'm most vulnerable. Two different nights in this past week, I literally felt darkness hovering over me. One night, I woke up at about 1:30am and I was kicking my legs, I wanted to scream but I couldn't and I literally couldn't stand up. Another night I woke up around 3:20am and I could just feel darkness on top of me. Like pressing down on me. I won't lie, these things do scare me. Especially when I've never experienced anything like this before.
But I'm constantly reminded of the fact that no matter how strong of a hold the enemy has, God is still more powerful. Yes, there's a spiritual battle, but guess what? We already know the outcome! Jesus Christ defeated the grave! He already defeated the darkness.
What absolutely amazes me is that WE have authority in the name of Jesus to cast out powers of the darkness. When I felt those attacks, all I had to do was say, "You have NO power here. You cannot be here. In the name of Jesus Christ you HAVE to leave." And the darkness left and I fell asleep in peace.
In moments like that, I'm reminded that my hope is in the cross of Jesus Christ. Absolutely nothing can defeat Him. Not even death.
One of my favorite verses is this:
"We have this, as a sure in steadfast anchor for the soul, a hope that enters into the inner place behind the curtain."
Hebrews 6:19.
I even got a tattoo last weekend of an anchor to symbolize this verse and remind me that my hope is soley in Him. That in Him, I have power to cast out demons. In Him, no darkness can touch me. He is my hope, my strength, and my portion forever.
