Broken but whole.

I know, it sounds like a contradiction at first. But this is what God has been showing me since I started on this journey. I need to let God break me, no matter how much it hurts, so that I can truly be whole. I need Him to rid me of myself until I am filled only with Him so that I can pour myself out for the people of Thailand. I want to see these people the way that God sees them. I want my heart to break like God's heart is broken for these people.I know that no matter how heartbroken I feel, it is nothing compared to how God feels. Because He made them. And He sent His son for them. He is jealous for them.

Today we visited a Buddhist temple. It was beautiful. The intricate details and elaborate architecture was amazing to look at. However, it was also heartbreaking.

Outside of the temple, the people got on their knees and prayed and left flowers as an offering. After that, they get to the steps where they again bow down to their knees. Only then can they enter the temple. When they walk in there is a table where you must buy coins to use as yet another offering. They then must put one coin in each of several bowls. After this, they go and bow before the monks who sprinkle dust on them. Then they may go before the giant idol and bow before it with their faces on the ground.

As I observed all of this, I was moved to tears. Because all I could see was how many things they had to do before they could approach their "god'. They believe they have to work and work and work before their prayers are heard or their sacrifices are accepted. And as they bow with their faces to the floor, their god does not hear them. Because there is only one true God.

These people are without hope. And my God wants so desperately for them to see him for who He is. The one true God who gave himself for them and loves them so much. Seeing all off this today was sad and overwhelming but I know that God is bigger than the strongholds that keep the Thai people. Afterall , "to be Thai is to be Buddhist." But I know God is working and will rescue so many Thai people from this lie. And He will receive the praise that He deserves and the people will experience a love that surpasses all understanding.

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