Playing monkey in the middle is a great game, I love playing it with kids and with my brothers. But when you step into reality and get thrown into the middle without a choice it damages you. For so long I entered into a position with family that caused me to believe that it was up to me to fix every shattered piece. I didn't allow God to take over, to have His way. Trust was stolen and over the last few years I thought I had been healed from things that have been taken place in my life. I was trying to please my family, make us whole again. It's my job . But what I didn't know was that with this type of mind set I was forgetting the big picture and this was not Gods plan for me. I was not pursuing God for my own life, I was trying to temporarily fix something that was not mine to fix. It took me until the other day when I shared my story with my team , to realize you can't just slap a band aid on it and call it good. We have to go to the hard spots together, we have to trust that God has a plan for EVERYTHING. He makes all things for our good. On this trip I am truly learning what it means to give up control and put my all into my Father. That is just a small part if the many things I am starting to learn here. And can not wait to see what else God has is store.
