Toto, We’re Not in America Anymore

Today, as we were walking around Phuket for the first time, one recurring thought came to mind. We are NOT in America anymore. There are so many different smells here, most of them unpleasant. We walked through a market and there was SO much fish and the smell hit you like a ton of bricks. It’s dirty, it’s hot, the food is weird, and I can’t understand a word anyone says or read a word that any of the signs say (unless someone has so kindly translated it to English underneath). So, I kept thinking “Why did God bring me here, why did He give me this dream?” Then, I started to get angry. Angry that I didn’t know how in the world I was going to fit in here or how I was going to make a difference here. Angry that I came all this way and was now feeling so inadequate. On top of all of those feelings and emotions, my stomach was aching so badly that all I wanted to do was lay in bed and go to sleep. I wanted to know why God gave me this desire, this need to befriend and help the women of Thailand whenever I don’t have any clue as to how to communicate with them, or even where to begin. So, whenever we got back to the place we are staying, I decided to stay in bed and rest and hope and pray that I would start feeling better both physically and emotionally. After sleeping for 5 hours, I woke up just in time to go downstairs for worship. As I was sitting there singing and and talking to God, I started to ask Him the same questions that I had been asking earlier. Why? The girl leading worship started playing How He Loves and at the end of the song, she changed it to “how we love You”. As I started singing that, God spoke on my heart,”That’s why you’re here. Because you love Me. I have given you everything that you need to succed, you just need to continue to love Me, continue to trust Me, and continue to follow Me with everything that you have.” I can’t say that I completely understand why I’m here and what I can bring to the table, but I do know that God chose me for this mission, I just need to continue to love Him and let Him guide me. I would really appreciate it if you guys could continue to pray for me and specifically that God would give me peace about being here.
“All the nations may walk in the name of their gods; we will walk in the name of the Lord our God for ever and ever.” -Micah 4:5

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