“People think we are dumb. They think we do not see or hear what is happening around us. We are not dumb. We see the things, but can only watch. We hear the things, but we do not speak. But we always know…”
While standing in the Andaman Sea, I tried to soak in every wave and ounce of sun to remember the moment. Holding hands with my Thai friend Ruby, I tried to hold back my gasp listening to her genuine, honest words about being a bar girl. It was almost a gut check. Once the neon lights come on and the DJ's take their place, Bang La road turns into a broadway play for the broken hearted. Being a dancer myself I know all about what its like to overload the make up and hairspray. Get my fancy little outfit out on and take the stage. Facial expressions mean everything; you must always impress the crowd. Even when the judges seem disappointed, keep on smiling because they are watching your every move! This “show” on Bang La road is like a dance competition on steroids. This “crowd” they have to please by their looks, their smiles, means everything to their sense of worth. Always laughing, drinking and “having a good time,” is their best act yet. As embarrassing as it is, its easy to look at the girls on Bang La and judge them as childish. The way they laugh and joke about the horrible things going on can make you sick to your stomachs, but Ruby explained it perfectly to me. She's not dumb. She knows whats going on. She see's the things that people are doing, and hears the things they say about her and the woman on Bang La. After all, with so many judges around her all night what else can she do but “impress the crowd?”
But they do not speak…
Silence has become a thickening, suffocating, sound on Bang La. Even with the music turned all the way up, silence can be heard from far away. I was recently told a personal story about how my friend May became a prostitute here in Phuket. She said that when she was looking around for a job to support her young daughter, a man walked up to her and bluntly asked, “How much are you?” She told me she didn't know anything about prostitution or why he asked her but realized how easy it could be to make money. I could see the embarrassment in her eyes and the shame she constantly pushed away.
“HOW MUCH ARE YOU?”
The question rings in my ears every time I walk around Patong. Looking past all of the broken smiles, and dried tearless eyes I see true beauty in the women I meet. You can see the light change in their eyes when you look at them and say, “you are SO beautiful!” without looking up and down their bodies. These are real people, who desperately are longing to be viewed as an equal. Who desperately are longing for real love that doesn’t consist in a number. The difference between asking someone, “How are you” and “How MUCH are you?” Something so simple can change someones life. It could have changed May's. We all need to step back and stop watching the “show” but to compassionately and humbly wipe off their masked identities and walk them off the stage. We need to look within ourselves and give up the insecurities we try hiding to impress the crowd. We need to look into the eyes of our only Judge, Jesus who paid the true ultimate price for us by taking on the cross. No matter how much money satan offers our way, Jesus already paid our debt.
