Another week of ministry has passed, and I’ve experienced a whole heck of a lot this week. There’s been excitement and laughter. Passion for ministry and these women. Heartbreak over the things I’ve seen. Disappointment when a girl we’ve connected with backed out of hanging out with us. Exhaustion from hoeing dirt at the worksite. Amazing times of worship and intercession with the team. Rescuing my teammates from a dead cockroach and getting creeped out by the chirping of geckos in the bathroom. Missing home and people I love there. I think the overarching theme of this week though, I learned on Thursday night.
Thursday night of ministry was hard. Everyone who went out that night felt it. The girls were less receptive. The bar managers weren’t pleased with our presence. The streets were more crowded than usual. There were so many families out walking down Bangla, fathers with their ten year old sons, fathers with their two year old daughters. We walked by the bar where our friend Wow works and she was with a male customer. There’s so many couples out on the street together- dating, married, honeymooners- in a setting that is more of a raunchy bachelor party than a night out for two people who care for each other. Bangla Road is a twisted, sick, dark area in this world.
I had seen all these things before when we had gone out to ministry. But on Thursday, it was all so much more real. And that night, I really felt a sample of God’s sadness. For the women on Bangla who feel as if they have no value, and who can blame them when they’ve never been more than an object to people? Every night they do the same things over and over… some have been working at these bars for years and years. I felt God’s sadness for the men, who’ve twisted their logic in so many ways. I’ve seen so many men sitting at bars alone just staring down at their beers. They may feel like a man for a few minutes, feel like they have the respect they’ve always wanted and deserved while they’re on Bangla, but in the end they’re hollow and empty. Deep down they know it. It’s all a façade. I felt God’s sadness for the couples, searching for more, lacking love, trust and commitment to each other, their relationships hanging on by strings and many not even understanding the damage that they’re doing.
I realized… that these people don’t know love. They’ve never experienced true trust and commitment… love without agendas… love that goes far beyond physical attraction… love without fear… love that lasts more than a night, a week, a month… love that looks past failure… love that gives instead of takes, love without selfishness. And I think that’s really what God’s sadness is. His sadness is that they don’t know him. They don’t know his love.
We came back from ministry discouraged, and we had a little bit of worship time to recharge ourselves. One of my teammates played a song that really spoke to me, really wrapped up everything and gave truth to the situation. It’s “Faithful to the End” by Cory Asbury and I think you should give it a listen. It's easy to get discouraged, and I have a feeling that I might not be able to see the fruit of our work here. But these people need to know this- in their minds and their hearts.
"He's faithful to the end
And he's faithful to my heart
He's faithful to the end
He will come and marry me."
