such a coward

Geez! It's only day two of being in country, and I'm already letting go of what I learned just a week ago at training camp.

Why is it that we so easily forget what the Lord has done for us?
Why do we need to be reminded so frequently of His love when in all reality a glimpse of His vast affection should satisfy every fiber of our souls? It makes me wonder if we're really seeing the reality of his love. I mean, if we were really letting ourselves soak in the reality of what He has for us, where would we be standing today?
What would our passions be?
Would we still be striving for a newer and nicer this and that?
Would we still be making excuses not to adopt orphans and foster children from broken homes?
Would we still bend over backwards in order to keep from bending over backwards to help someone else?
Oh, and trust me, I'm not taking on the role of the preacher here. I'm so sick of the reality I've let myself be a part of too. I'm just ready for a new and righteous reality. I'm anticipating an extraordinary life, because that's what He offers.

Thank the Lord for people who see situations that “aren't how they ought to be” and do something about it! The people who lead SHE Ministries here in Phuket just astonish me. They're the happiest people I think I've ever observed. They get it. They've soaked in the reality of his love. I want that.

Thank the Lord for my teammates who drench me with their humility and grace.
Thank the Lord for these 24 young women who saw that things weren't how they ought to be and did something about it. I'm so glad that they gave up their summers, their best friends, their boyfriends, their families, and their freedoms to do something about injustice!

Thank God I get to serve alongside such an army.
Thank God that he is working around my selfishness and my carelessness and my hopelessness and causing me to be righteously angry about what's going on here in Phuket.

It's so not me.

I'm finding myself having to fight my flesh every stinking day just trying to keep from compromising what the Lord has taught me.
He's taught me that I am welcome to find joy in everything He offers.
He's taught me that I'm not alone in my struggles.
He's taught me that my issues matter to Him, and that they aren't too big a burden for His arms to carry.
He's taught me that I could never be too far to reach.

Daily, I'm fighting off these lies that tell me to complain, and that I'm alone, and that I'm too much to handle, and that it's too late to come back to His love again. But there's that still small voice that says “if grace is an ocean, we're all sinking.”
Amen. That voice speaks so much more truth than just the value of the words used to say it. If you've experienced and acknowledged His grace, you know what I mean!

Man, the devil is such a coward. It's so ridiculous to see him trying to use the same tricks against me on this trip that he did when I went to Africa. He's not very cleaver, and he doesn't know what wins my heart like my King does.
I understand that in saying that, I may be lifting up a challenge against him… so be it! I'm willing to fight, because I'm finally realizing that I'm not afraid of him or what he can do. In all honesty, I'm more afraid of what the Lord can do, because His power is so much greater. He's breaking me in ways that I never knew possible, but He's following it up with a reconstruction that just makes me want to move mountains in His name! And I think this team is going to do just that.
Mmm… All of these things I'm thankful for.