Romans 12:2 says do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is-his good, pleasing and perfect will.
We have dived head first into the world. Our ministry is entirely submerged and we are drowning in it daily. With the constant flow of worldly views around us, it can become difficult to distinguish between what God wants- his good, pleasing and prefect will- and what actually happens in the world. Without the constant influx of God’s word and worship, getting out of Thailand with our minds unscathed would be close to impossible. Even with the word of God in hand, the task is still difficult. With the type of men that these bars attract, it’s hard not to start judging every man you know similarly. Would every man take their family (yes, kids and wife) to a bar and record a girl dancing while they were standing by? Would every man just look at you like nothing when you tried to get by and not move when you politely asked? Would every man go to a “ping pong” show (they were described to me as a live sex show) when pamphlets were shoved into their face? Would every man jump to the opportunity to indulge in this counterfeit love when given a chance? Should I put guards up to defend myself from every man?
No. these men on bang la road are not following God’s will. This was not His purpose for them. God has put many wonderful men in my life that have dedicated their lives to following our Lord. Should I make the good men in my life pay for the sins of the bad? It’s been a difficult journey trying to figure this out the last few days. When God’s will is followed, only beauty flows forth. This anger I’ve been feeling is not from God. It’s from the world.
God keeps reminding me of all the wonderful men I know that have never treated me badly. In fact, they’ve probably treated me too well. He keeps whispering, “they are your gift, beloved. Don’t push them away.”
Only with God’s love and power will I leave here without the things I’m seeing here affecting me adversely
