So today has been quite the adventure and rather overwhelming. It started off with 8 of us catching a bus for a ride to the mall, splitting into smaller groups and ended up with 3 of us getting completely lost. In order to find our way back to where we were stayng in Kathu we started asking Thai people where to catch the bus and one after another kept saying "You have to go down Bangla. Go down Bangla." (This is the street of bars our main ministry will be on). So after attempting to find our team learder and exploring other options the 3 of us decided to brave it, prayed and started walking.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't freaked out to walk down Bangla Road for the first time. It's just an incredibly dark place. Even walkig down Bangla during the day I felt overwhelmed with emotions. One being freaked out that we had no idea where we were and another being shocked and broken by what I saw. Before I came to Thailand I was already shocked by the things I had heard of watched, but it's a lot different when it actually becomes a reality.
I had watched movies and read blogs about American and European men walking with Thai girls on their arms, but actually seeing it is a completely different experience. The look on these girls faces isn't one of joy and happiness, but rather fake smiles and a kind of sadness in their eyes. All their life they've been treated as objects. And the looks on their faces and in their eyes are not something i'll soon forget, but it's a reminder as to why i'm here. To bring hope and worth to these girls lives. To show Christ love instead of them getting treated like objects of peoples lust everyday and night.
But what gets to me the most are these guys who participate in it. What makes it okay for you to treat women as objects to the point where they don't feel as if they're worth anything anymore? I really struggle to respect a lot of them after that and my first reaction is to become angry at these men. But then I remember that they're just as lost as these girls are. They need Christ just as much as we all do. And some are trying to fill a void that only God will be able to. I was once there, so who am I to say that these guys don't deserve it? Christ has complete freedom for both the girls AND guys on Bangla.
I'm still processing through everything. I sometimes tend to think that I don't have much to offer, but then I just hear God say I chose you and it gives me the strength to press on. Thailand is desperetely in need of Christ. There's no other way to put it. I may not have much to offer, but Christ is using me as well as the rest of the girls on my team to bring his love, redemption and freedom and that will always be more than enough.
"Now the Lord is the spirit, and where the spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom."
– 2 Corinthians 3:17
