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I am the prostitute.

I hear the constant clink of coins into metal bowls, in devotion to false gods.

I smell incense and the aroma of burnt offerings, in devotion to false gods.

I see flowers on a multitude of altars, in devotion to false gods.

I encounter young boys who have set their lives apart to be a monk, in devotion to false gods.

I watch  hundreds of people bow to Buddha, touch golden idols, and participate in rituals, all the while hoping that maybe the next life will be better. It makes me sick; they are in complete devotions to lies. I literally feel like I have stepped into the Old Testament, surrounded by idols. It’s not okay.

I was ready to encounter prostitution in Thailand; I imagined myself walking the bar streets in total victory, claiming women back for Jesus. My heart ached for the physical prostitution that I would be exposed to, but never did I expect to encounter such strong spiritual prostitution. Why don’t they understand their worship is to gods that have no power, no satisfaction?

Then it hits me…HARD.

I do the same thing.

I am the prostitute.

How often do I worship idols that provide me no satisfaction, no hope, no truth? I am constantly prostituting my heart, seeking for satisfaction in things other than Jesus- like money, approval of others, marriage/relationships, clothing, talents, academics, food, accomplishments…the list goes on. Who am I to judge the Thai Buddhists for what they worship when my own idols are absolutely filthy?

Ezekiel 11:18-19~ “They will return to it and remove all its vile images and detestable idols.  I will give them an undivided heart and put a new spirit in them; I will remove from them their heart of stone and give them a heart of flesh.

An UNDIVIDED heart.

This verse seems to be resurfacing quite often in the past few months, and yet here we are again, but this time with a counterpart.

2 Chronicles 19:3~ There is, however, some good in you, for you have rid the land of the Asherah poles and have set your heart on seeking God.”

How humbling. And how beautiful that we serve a God such as ours. He is real. He is powerful. He is worthy. He changes everything. He is all-knowing, all-powerful, and all-loving. He truly is the only thing worthy of my attention and affection. He is the only One who can bring light to the darkness of this place. He is my hope, my sustenance, my everything. All He asks of me is to seek Him, to love Him.

I thought I was coming to Thailand to first, be a disciple for nine absolutely beautiful world-changing women, and secondly, to bring freedom from the captivity of physical prostitution. Each day, though, The Lord makes it clearer that I am here so that He can set me free from my own bondage, my own captivity, my own prostitution- and oh, how grateful I am for that.

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