For so long, my whole life actually, I have dreamt of being married. Starting as a young girl just wanting to marry my daddy, then getting into junior high and wanting to marry the first boy that told me i had pretty eyes, and recently just wanting a husband to share my life with. I have invisioned the ceromony in my mind. I searched through countless wedding magazines to find the perfect dress. I found the ring I want. I even keep a journal to my future husband and have written vows that include me washing his feet with my hair at our wedding! Over and over in my mind I have walked down the aisle to this faceless man.
Last week God convicted me, He told me that I have been dreaming of walking down the aisle to the wrong man and that He has been waiting for me to dream of my wedding to Him. Jesus reminded me of Isaiah 54:5, "Indeed your husband is your maker, His name is Yahweh." It was kind of funny, I believe God has a hilarious sense of humor and it was almost like He gently punched my arm and said, "come on you crazy girl!!! Dreaming of a man who you dont know and who will let you down in your life multiple times… OR dreaming of a perfect man who is lost in love with you already and who will never ever ever stop loving you more and more?"
When He put it that way it was a no brainer, so I began to change my way of thinking and decided to write my vows to my sweet groom, Jesus.
"To finally know that i have reached eternity is unreal, but to know i get to spend it with you is beautiful and by far the greatest gift I've ever recieved. My former life was a mess, then i met you and you picked up my broken pieces and fit them together perfectly. With out you I'd still be a jumbled up, undone puzzle lying on the floor. Forever ill be in debt to you, so i give you all that i can offer– my life–just as you did for me. Iam no longer my own and we are joined together as one. My joy bursts at its seems to know that you call me your bride, the one you cherish, the one you love and adore. I dont deserve love as deep as a small river let alone the undying love you give me that is deeper than any ocean. My love, my groom, I am yours completely. Take me away with you. I cling to you please never let go of my heart. Please never let go of my heart. If anything just let me dampen the ends of my hair with your frangrance and clense the dirt from your feet. If it takes the rest of time, i dont care. I will show you my love, loyalty, and submission to all that you desire untill you lift my face and say no more. Please take me away. I'll never look back. I'll never stop looking at you. My gaze will never break. I'll never turn back. I love you too."
Now when i close my eyes and picture myself in a beautiful white dress, its different because the man i am looking to is my God, my savior, my friend. Thank you for desiring me as a bride Lord!
