Knowing I have less than two weeks with these girls has been hard for me, Satan has been attacking my worth, personally, in my Bangla team, and in the entire team. It’s easier for me to shut down, and push people away then to be left behind or forgotten. I was addicted to self-mutilation; I let Satan control me through that, attacking my self-worth daily, but I don't want to go back to that. Being vulnerable is a hard thing for me, sharing what I’m feeling makes me feel weak, not good enough. It’s scary. It doesn’t matter if what I am saying affects the person I’m talking to or not. Sometimes I let it get in the way of my relationship with Christ- not opening up about my struggles, thinking people will bring me down, or I’d end more alone then I felt at that moment, leading me further and further from the cross. From someone who will love me more than anyone else. Who would never leave me, no matter what I did. Who forgives me, without any questions. Through Christ, I have been set free. Satan will have no hold on me anymore.
I am worthy.
I am beautiful.
I am good enough.
I am forgiven.
I do have value in this team.
I am free.
I am loved.
“Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.” – colossians 3:12-13
