Beautifully Broken

There is this saying in Thailand when comparing two things, “Same, same, but different.” Now this may sound silly at first but no other phrase so perfectly captures my experience in Thailand. I came to Thailand broken and continued to break over the course of my trip. Somewhere in the middle however came a breakthrough and while I am still the same girl I am, well, different.


Ok, pause.

I am sure some of you have been thinking, “Great you changed. But what about Thailand? Why haven’t you shared anything about your ministry?”

Let me reassure you, ministry did happen. This was not just a retreat. Here is a general recap: I played with children in the slums three times a week, met with women (and men) in the bars during the day and night, went to a small village in the mountains for a week, and so on. The reason I have not shared much in detail about our ministry is because I do not know their hearts.

You may be thinking now, “What does their heart have to do with anything?” Let me stop you in that train of thought and remind you when it comes to God, what truly matters to Him is the condition of our hearts.

So back to my previous statement, I do not know the hearts of the people I encountered in Thailand. But I do know a little about my own heart. Hence I shared my heart in these blogs, that through me you could maybe get a glimpse of what God can do with our brokenness. Because whether you believe it or not, the fact is we are broken. Chiang Mai is broken. But God takes those broken pieces and makes us whole. He makes us new. (Revelations 21:5) Further proof, if you translate Chiang Mai it means “new city”. Funny how we sometimes miss those hints…


Trust me, I so wish I could see and tell you the inner workings of the hearts of these people, my friends, but I am not God. But I do know God and He was and still is perfectly molding each of their hearts into something new. Something beautiful. So with that thought in mind I left Thailand peacefully, knowing their hearts (and mine) are still in the hands of our Maker. While it may seem like the end, I can assure it is not, the journey still continues. Every day, every moment, He is shaping us.

The question is, will you let Him into your brokenness?


Some of the beautiful children in the slums.

Just some of the beautiful children in the slums.

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