You know what is great about our God? HE FORGIVES!! It doesn’t matter what you have done, the Lord has already forgiven you. He knows what you wore your 3rd birthday, knows where you sat on the bus today, he knows what you were thinking about in 1st period lecture that wasn’t Biology, and he knows that you will end up living on Hartford Street in the brown house in the third one down even before you do. He has precalculated every step of our lives so perfectly that all of our sins are already forgiven before they even happen. The hard part is letting them go within us.
This past week has been particularly hard going into the bars on Bangla Road and ministering to these women. As our first couple days went by I could feel that something was weighing me down but I couldn’t place what it was. I felt disconnected from every girl we met and I just knew there was something missing. As we made one of our last rounds, a table of older women on vacation stood out to me. They were there rekindling old friendships, and that was when I remembered the first day I set foot on Bangla. I had looked around and thought, “huh, this looks like a place my friends and I would have so much fun partying at.” I realized then how much I had in common with those 4 women. WE ARE ALL SINNERS. The difference? Repentance, remorse, change.
For about a day it just bogged down my mind and soul that maybe I wasn’t even worthy enough to preach to these prostitutes, but I was reminded that God is an ever loving, grateful, and forgiving man! Yes, I am a sinner, but I ask for forgiveness and I learn from my mistakes. I want something greater than to succumb to the devil’s threshold. And that is where I am different. I may even be more qualified to tell these girls about the Lord’s greatness because I have been trapped in the devil’s playground before just like they are now. And I have seen the way out; I know the path!
Forgiveness is so awesome, but it was not easy for me to accept. I held on to thinking I wasn’t good enough for Christ Jesus, that I wasn’t worthy for him either. But I was guided to the book of Acts and read all of the great things Paul did and how the Lord used him as an instrument. God chose him! He was a murderer of Christians, of our brothers and sisters, and he became God’s right hand man. Reading about Paul gave me peace and hope. He is my homeboy! J
So I encourage anyone reading this, if you are holding on to anything that you feel makes you unworthy of God’s grace, repent! Ask for forgiveness within yourself and come to terms with your past. It happened, but its over and God has forgiven you. Ask Him to reveal how He sees you in His eyes. And trust me, what he will show you is more beautiful than you can ever imagine. You will be set free.
-Lord, help me to see anything I dread as a challenge that I can rise above, because You enable me. You have brought me out of darkness and the shadow of death, and broke my chains of bondage. You have delivered me from darkness and brought me into Your kingdom and Your love (Colossians 1:13). Because you are my salvation, I don’t have to be afraid. I can call to you and you will save me (Psalm 107:13). Set me free from all negative emotions. Give me a garment of praise to take away the spirit of heaviness. In Your presence I find fullness of joy.