Leave it all at the cross. <3

I don’t even know where to start…Monday night was my first night of bar ministry and it was so different than I expected it to be. The bars are everywhere; there are HUNDREDS of girls dancing on bar tops and girls soliciting men on the streets and FAMILIES with children walking around like this is completely normal. Looking at all of it, it is so easy to get this hopeless attitude and I really started to think that until we went into the second bar. I was really feeling a pull to that bar, so I told my team leader that’s where I would like to go and so we went and all the girls there spoke Thai…exceptone; one girl who was so incredibly sweet and beautiful and just wanted to tell us all about her life. God used that bar so we could talk to just ONE girl. That’s how much He loves us…it doesn’t matter if every single one of those bar girls spoke a different language, it just mattered that ONE could communicate, ONE could see that we wanted to really know her. Not use her or just hear the basics…we want to really know her. Hear her heart and show her the love that Christ showed all of us.
God also showed me that night that I HAVE to rely on him, no questions asked. We were standing out on the main road and I looked over and saw a Thai girl that was probably my age or just a bit older persistently soliciting men. After a few minutes I looked over and saw this group of four men approach her and I listened as they asked her how much they would have to pay for just on night with her and my heart just shattered into a million little pieces and I felt so heavy. God showed me in that moment that I couldn’t carry the weight and burden of this place around with me. Not spiritually, not even physically. They are too heavy and it is so important to lay the highs and the lows and the goods and bands and the heavy and the light at the feet of Christ because I’m not strong enough to carry the weight of everyone else…I’ll break. But the Lord delights in us taking it all to Him. How beautiful that we don’t have to carry it all ourselves. We just have to carry it to the cross and leave it there.
This summer is going to be filled with more emotion that I’ve probably ever had to deal with and I’m so excited. I’m excited to hear the hearts of these bar girls and to share mine with them. I’ve excited to pray for the men who are taking part in this heart-breaking industry. I’m excited to conquer the spirits of anger and judgment and just love the women and men like Christ has called me to. I’m excited to be stretched and grown and prepared for the big things that God has already revealed to me that He is putting in the works. Big things are happening here and at home and I am so crazy excited I can hardly contain myself.
Love and miss yall!
Living life in pursuit of Him,
Rach <3

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