It's totally surreal, as mostly everything attached to this trip has been. Getting here, living here, loving here, and now leaving here–all challenges in different ways. Yet the Lord has proved his faithfulness each time.
As my ministry team and I prepared to walk off Bangla Road for the last time, we decided to pray over it. On our last way down, I felt led to speak Jesus' name quietly over the street and the people so I did. Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. There is such power in his name. It unnerves and disrupts the heaviest pockets of darkness. It changes the atmosphere.
Walking down that small stretch of road, I became really aware of a lot of difficult things all at once, but I continued whispering his name. And in those moments, here is what he taught me.
Jesus, even when I watch another man sweet talking another Thai bar girl as they walk off Bangla.
Jesus, even when I see the sweet children who sell flowers being pushed around and mistreated by tourists.
Jesus, even when I see the ladyboys being mocked and jeered at by passersby.
Jesus, even when I see the hollow eyes of dancing women and the hungry eyes of searching men.
Jesus, even as I watch people enter closed bars, where unthinkable destruction occurs at an "affordable price."
Jesus, even when vendors continually sell tickets to live sex shows.
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. He is not far, as I am tempted to think. He exists in these moments, too.
Before leaving on this trip, one of my best friends told me that one of the hardest things I will ever have to do is surrender the dreams God has given me back to him. I love this ministry and I love the people I've met here and I love my team and the last thing I ever want to do is have to say goodbye to it. But I have to trust that he knows what he's doing and that even as we leave, more teams will be coming to bring the Kingdom of heaven down to Bangla. God is still moving. Really, his heart is more entwined in this city than mine ever could be. He has just allowed me the privilege of sharing his heart for it.
Please pray for our team as we begin to surrender back to the Lord the biggest dreams and desires some of us have ever had. Pray that we would continually seek him, that we would trust him despite what we might deem our better judgement. Pray that we would not forget his faithfulness in the midst of brokenness.
Because that's what he keeps saying to me, in both the quiet moments and the loud ones.
"I am faithful, even in this."
