There is a rainstorm tonight and I can’t help but smile.
Lately I have been struggling with feeling that I was missing something from God. Don’t get me wrong, He is moving in my heart in amazing ways and constantly giving me the ability to leap out of my comfort zone, but I still felt like there was a puzzle piece out of place.
A few nights ago I was telling God how frustrated I was with feeling incomplete. After I had finally voiced this to Him, He quickly showed me the missing puzzle piece.
Love.
His love.
His unfailing love for me.
Embracing and accepting His unfailing love for me.
That is what I am missing.
Ever since I can remember I have been told that God loves me. He sacrificed His own son for me and He forgives me even thought He knows that I will just keep on sinning. This is nothing short of crazy love, yet somehow my knowledge that He loves me with an uncontrollable love hasn’t quite made it all the way to my heart.
I just cant imagine why God would love me. I don’t deserve His love. Why would He continue to love me even though I sin day after day, let my pride come in the way of sharing Him with others, and let selfishness rule over Him?
I still don’t know.
I still don’t understand it.
I don’t think that I ever will.
As I sit here with tears flowing out, I am overwhelmed with His amazing love for me.
It just made it to my heart.
I now know.
I now understand it.
I now truly feel it.
I am loved.
I am Loved.
I am LOVED.
I AM LOVED!
There is something I should fill you in on…
As I typed the words As I sit here with tears flowing out, I am overwhelmed with His amazing love for me, I wasn’t actually crying yet. After I typed that, I just stopped and said, “wait God, what? I’m not crying.” (At this point I now imagine Him sitting back smiling and waiting.) I sat silently and then the song I was listening to went like this:
“No one has ever loved me, no one has ever fallen for me the way You do.
You walk through my walls. You break through my darkness.
You save me. You save me. You LOVE me.”
Then I really did start crying. At that moment I was overwhelmed with His love for me and I felt it in every inch of my body.
Autumn wrote me a little note today that said:
Allison,
You are in a season of God raining down His love. Every raindrop that hits you is a kiss, a hug, an embrace, a cuddle, a hand hold, a whisper of God raining His love on you.
May the rains of Thailand always remind you of how wonderfully He loves you!
rain.
There is not a more perfect night for a rainstorm.
God is not only showering the earth with water, but He is showering my heart with His unfailing love.
the Beauty of rain.
It is something that I never really grasped until today.
But now and forevermore rain will bring unlimited joy into my life.
Thank you Daddy.
