So I would like to think that things make sense in life. That things come in neat little packages and I know what is happening, when it is happening, and why it is happening…pretty much I like to be in control of my life and the situations I am in (aka control freak).
I think when signing up for this trip I didn’t quit understand the real meaning of being uncomfortable. I knew it was going to be hard and challenging and I wanted and welcomed the challenge. I had such a desire to seek God in a different way and I knew that meant he was going to do some rearranging in me, but I think was under the assumption that I could still control what he was changing. In simple terms, I wanted to put God in one of those neat little boxes. HE DID NOT LIKE THAT!
Uncomfortable situation #1: I have an irrational fear of flying. And naturally this trip has no such shortage of plane rides. That’s God for you. Calling me to travel across the world in the one thing that I despise and fear most on this earth. Yes I had to sit for a total of 23 hours (4 different planes)! But He is not only going to let me face that fear once on this trip but twice on the way back home.
All this joking to say that God does not want us to be captive to fear and he wants us to be free in all that He calls us to do for His kingdom. He wants us to trust that He has our best interest and that He will “make us dwell in safety” Psalms 4:8. I have already seen that God has helped me conquer some fear of flying and I know there is more on its way!
Uncomfortable situation #2: I like having interpersonal relationships with a close group of friends I do life with and I don’t venture out of what I know. Having God call me to a place where I would have to leave that comfort, not know a single person, and have to build deep relationships with all these girls really took some obedience for me. If God did not call me to do this trip I would never put myself in this situation. And since God did call me to experience life with these girls, I have already come to love these girls in a new and deeper way then I’ve ever experienced with anyone else.
Uncomfortable situation #3: I grew up in a nice home with nice things and went on nice vacations. I never really went camping (and if I did it was for short periods of time) and I didn’t really understand what it meant to be poor. I thank God for the life He has provided for me but I also thank him for humbling me in this experience to Thailand. Yes, Thailand is a first world country but it also has third world qualities that are hard to swallow at times. But when adjusting to their life and culture it forces you to humble yourself and find joy in what the Lord has provided for you, and that is a beautiful and irreplaceable feeling.
God doesn’t test us to show his power, He pushes us to find our real selves that He created us to be. He wants us to be obedient to His calling and He loves to bless his children. And most of all God is the comforter! Sit in the comfort of His love. Wherever you are or however uncomfortable you may be, He is always there to comfort! What a good papa 🙂
