I don’t always have the answers.
In fact, I don’t ever have the answers.
Sometimes writing these blogs becomes hard. I feel a certain amount of pressure to relay some sort of profound experience and carefully articulate the contents of my heart. Eloquence aside, words are incapable of capturing all of the feelings that are tap dancing on the stage of my heart. I’m pretty sure most feelings do not actually have a name; there will always be certain sensations which are beyond appellation by Webster and friends.
I fear that when I return to the states, this whole experience will seem like a dream. Time here has passed so quickly, and I have learned more in the past 4 months than I have learned in eighteen years of school. Jesus is showing me how to love better, and the incredible power of His affection. In English, the term ‘love’ describes my feelings towards Chick-Fil-A, as well as God’s desire for us. The power of God’s love has been grossly underestimated by my own inability to distinguish His promises from my appetite for some waffle fries and a sweet tea.
While, I would love to simply restate the Gospel and try to give it more power with these words—I cannot. I can only praise God that someday, everyone will understand the intensity of a love that takes on death and wins. In the meantime, I will provide what I do have…two brief vignettes from this week- my encounters with God’s love:
NEW’S BACK IN TOWN!
On Sunday, Amber and I rejoiced over the opportunity to spend time with New.* I thought that I would never see her again after the Hong Kong scare (as addressed in former blogs). Weeks went by, and I was unable to reach her, and God had to do a lot of work in my heart, defining “surrender.” Last week, when New called us, I was overwhelmed and humbled by God’s faithfulness. On Sunday, we spent hours at the beach laughing and eating hundreds of pumpkin/watermelon/sunflower seeds that Noi bought us at Family Mart (cue ‘mustard seed’ metaphor).
LOVE OVER LANGUAGE
Kristina and I met Toy nearly two months ago on a prayer walk. She works during the day at a bar on Bangla Road, and she probably speaks less English than Winston, the bull dog that lives at SHE. Our time with Toy consists of bringing her McDonald’s sundaes, sitting beside her at her bar, and occasionally playing Connect 4. Last week, when we brought her a strawberry sundae, we somehow managed to communicate that we leave Thailand in two weeks. Her eyes became glossy, as she hugged us, and said something in Thai. We told her that we loved her and promised to come visit her again before we leave.
