That place

  I never would have thought I would be playing a drum, helping lead worship for a group of people. 1.) because I don't play drums and 2.) I don't have any rhythm or sense of timing for that matter. I'm always that one odd girl in church who always claps off beat.  But there I was banging on a drum, playing my heart out and worshiping God with literally everything. I was conscious of the drum and trying to focus on staying on beat. Well then the Spirit fell down in that room and my emotions were shot. I was crying, and my hands were going without me thinking about them....

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Oh, Thailand

First off, I know that I said I would blog once a week and I failed at that horribly. Sorry. But I just feel I should write one now. 🙂    I just haven’t found a way to write what I have been feeling, I could tell you about the heat (sweating by the gallons), or how interesting the food is here, or how the people at the tea stand down the street are absolutely amazing and some of the most generous people I have met.  But I really want to tell you about the ministry I am doing.    Let me just start off by saying, never in my life did I think I would be able to say,...

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Who Knew….?

Who knew that digging and hoeing at a clay mountain in the heat of Thailand, with wonderful teammates would bring so much joy and laughter to my heart? Who knew that people I have only know for a few weeks, would encourage me and pour into me more than some people I have known for years have? Who knew I would begin making long-lasting relationships with so many wonderful women of God in such a short amount of time? Who knew how much, slushies, ice cream, French fries, and toasted bread with sugar and butter would comfort me here in Thailand? Who knew the very interesting things I would be eating...

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karaoke and goodbyes.

Good byes are never easy. Yesterday I had to say goodbye to *Jill, A girl I have posted about earlier in the trip. Austen and I had planned a beach date with her, our last date; I was going in with high expectations… I wanted it to be perfect, like a girls day in the movies, filled with laughter, maybe get a better tan, eat crap food, tell stories, and just be girls. But when we got to the mall to meet up with her, and walked to the beach it was raining… and she had a customer with her. My heart was completely broken. Jill* always told us, I get paid a certain amount of money (more...

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Vulnerability, Worth, and Freedom.

Knowing I have less than two weeks with these girls has been hard for me, Satan has been attacking my worth, personally, in my Bangla team, and in the entire team. It’s easier for me to shut down, and push people away then to be left behind or forgotten. I was addicted to self-mutilation; I let Satan control me through that, attacking my self-worth daily, but I don't want to go back to that. Being vulnerable is a hard thing for me, sharing what I’m feeling makes me feel weak, not good enough. It’s scary. It doesn’t matter if what I am saying affects the person...

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